I Am Furious: What Business Coaches & Mentors Think Procrastination Is and How to “Get Over It”.
People That Procrastinate Get Shitty Advice From People That Are Supposed to Help Them. The Procrastinators Pay The Price.
It breaks my heart.
I was a chronic procrastinator for years, and I tried to fight myself to get over it. All I got from my mentors and coaches was as to push harder. It nearly destroyed me.
According to most people, including business coaches and mentors, sadly, procrastination is:
- Laziness
- Lack of willpower
- Lack of a strong “Why”
They believe we should push through procrastination, and…
…Just Do it”, despite not feeling like it.
…“Eat that frog”, by starting the workday doing the most dreaded task first, so the rest of the day is less awful.
…Feel the fear and do it anyway.
And garbage advice along those lines…
This well-meant advice does not help the slightest if you are a chronic procrastinator
“A chronic procrastinator is someone who deliberately delays tasks they know they should be doing, to the extent it becomes a problem in one or more areas of their lives”
— the definition of a chronic procrastinator
If you normally do the stuff, you intend to, and occasionally procrastinate on a task, the solutions provided by business coaches and mentors work well. Feeling the fear of one odd task and forcing yourself to do it anyway is fine, on occasion. Doing it for 80–100% of your workday is neither sustainable nor possible. Starting your day with the worst and most difficult task is good advice if you have an easy time doing the rest of the tasks. When every task is a big-ass boulder, instead of a pebble it is simply not doable.
I meet so many people that are having an extremely difficult time getting tasks started and completed as solopreneurs. Back when they were 9–5 employees, procrastination wasn’t even an issue. Now, as a solopreneur, it is an obstacle, they have no idea how to handle. Often, they don’t even know that it is a problem in the beginning. So, they find a business coach or mentor to help them figure out what business strategy to focus on and what task to do. As a way out of actually DOING, they think that have a hard time doing, because they haven’t found the perfect business strategy…
When they fail to get tasks done, the coach/mentor tells them to push harder, to “just do- it”, or to do it despite their fears. When a person hears this enough times and still falls short, it affects their belief in their business and in themselves. The problem becomes worse as a result.
It is about dang time we shift our understanding of procrastination. Business coaches & mentors especially.
I know that this isn’t what business coaches and mentors help people with. But I know the issue faces A LOT of their clients, So, I deem they are morally obliged to have accurate information on procrastination to avoid actively (and unknowingly) hurting their clients. Every business coach and mentor might not want to become an expert in productivity and procrastination, but they must AT LEAST have their basic knowledge right -and know where/who to refer their struggling clients to.
Here’s what everybody should know about procrastination:
Chronic Procrastination is NOT laziness. Chronic Procrastination is NOT a lack of willpower and a powerful “Why” isn’t going to fix the problem.
Chronic procrastination is an inability to regulate emotions. It is a habit. People who suffer from chronic procrastination often lack dopamine. Without sufficient levels of dopamine, NO ONE can do a task they don’t feel like doing. The solution is not a quick fix, it is a slow and steady mountain that can be climbed with the right tools and some inner work.
The way most people, business coaches, and mentors, try to solve the chronic procrastinators’ challenges are harmful. They might as well tell people who need glasses to squeeze their eyes together. It might work for a while, but it’s unsustainable and damaging. Telling people to “just do it” when they can’t, hurt their self-esteem and self-worth. Giving people wrong advice, or advice that isn’t helpful will deepen the cycle of procrastination. A failure to follow through will have a negative emotional impact which makes “doing” even more difficult. As a result, they will fail the next time too — and the cycle becomes a downward spiral.
We need to stop the horrible advice we give people who are seriously struggling to get stuff done. Especially business coaches and mentors, but it goes for everybody working in the personal development and self-help field.
Originally published at https://mariaskaarup.com on June 22, 2023.
